how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...