haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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