Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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