I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Pants are for mortals
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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