We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
