Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
