I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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