what day is it and did you see me today?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
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you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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