Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
