i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
