based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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