is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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