I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize