I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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