I'm sorry my penis didn't work
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
