Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Houston, we have a blender
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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