i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
