Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
