Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
