In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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