I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
