margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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