I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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