Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
