I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Less talking, more tequila
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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