i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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