THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
