Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
