Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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