I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
