the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
