eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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