Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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