the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
