My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
