I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
