i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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