Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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