If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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