YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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