Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
