Can Purell be used as lube?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
