Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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