he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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