from now on my penis is your penis
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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