Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
