Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
