Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
