Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's just like the Real World with babies
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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