maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize