Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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