remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So much Jack, so little girl.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
