Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
