You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
