I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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