Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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