i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
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those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
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You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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