using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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